Bill the Cat Hellman's Home Page Mitch

Bill and Mitch-- separated at birth? You decide...

A full-featured, more visually intense version of this page is available by clicking here.

Your Host is Mitch Hellman - email me at

Are you a Malovany? Click here.

Notice About this page...

Those of you who know me well are aware of my obsession for being "reach-able." This page serves as the definitive word on how to reach me. However, my easy availability has been a two-edged sword. I used to get lots of unwanted telephone calls including numerous 'wrong number' and telemarketing calls; since I can't really stop these people (and robo-dialers, too) from calling me, at one time I recorded the following message on my telephone answering machine:

Green Guy from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Mitch's Answering Machine message:

"This is not ABC Chinese Carry-Out or Super Pride Market, though many of you seem to think so. If you don't recognize my voice, chances are that you are one of the many people who dial my number by mistake every day. Soooo, hang up the phone, put on your glasses, sober up, learn to read, don't call back. If you're trying to sell me something, don't bother; I either don't want it, don't need it, can't afford it or already own it-- sometimes all of the above. Any legitimate callers, please leave your name and number at the tone. Thank You!"

Listen Here RealAudio sound clip of the above message.

I figured that if I can't stop 'em, I can at least make 'em mad.

Here's the rest of my contact info. If you reach the answering machine, you can bypass the greeting and begin recording by pressing the asterisk key on your touch-tone phone.

M I T C H E L L   H E L L M A N
842 West Hester Street
Silver City, NM 88061-4316

Tel.: +1 575-388-2280 or Toll-Free (US only): 800-484-3186, code 4355
Mobile: 575-313-2652 / AIM: MitchHellman 

No Junk Mail! P.S.: Don't even dream of using my contact info for marketing purposes.

Help The Fight Against Spam!

Legal Notices:

I do not allow organizations to use my name or to contact me to make solicitations other than as permitted in my Declaration . Please read my Notification and Offer To Senders of Uninvited Email Solicitations.

About MCI...

I worked for MCI from March of 1985 to September of 1998 and I used to feel that I owed a lot to the company. They hired me as an inexperienced un-professional and provided me with the opportunity and tools to learn about communications in general and electronic mail in particular (while not putting much effort into making me conform to a "corporate" image). Thanks to MCI, I was able to visit 22 different countries in a little over three years while teaching people about the benefits of electronic messaging. Early in 1996 MCI provided me with a new opportunity: I began to work for MCI Web Services, and in 1997 I became a DNS administrator.

As of September 14, 1998 MCI completed the merger with WorldCom. As a result, I am NO LONGER an MCI WorldCom employee. As part of the merger agreement, all of MCI's Internet business was sold to Cable & Wireless USA-- and this means that I (and about 1,200 co-workers) went on the Cable & Wireless payroll.

This was a good thing. Since MCI was bought by WorldCom, the company has gone straight down the tubes. Whatever respect and esteem I had for the company has long since disappeared-- along with most of the people I knew and cared about, the value of the stock I own, the company's commitment to quality, and anything that resembles a business plan.

In April 2002, the CEO of MCI WorldCom, Bernie Ebbers, was ousted from his position. In June 2002, the new CEO, John Sidgmore, fired the CFO (and friend of Bernie), Scott Sullivan, after alleged accounting irregularities were discovered. The value of the company has plummeted and I hope Bernie's learned a lesson-- any idiot can buy market share; the challenge is to grow it. Meanwhile, MCI is struggling to stay afloat, and only time will tell whether Bernie gets off scott-free.

...and for those of you who, like me, used to work for MCI, check out

The xMCI Club on Yahoo!.

Alotta Gelato Alotta Gelato?

After my job with Feeble & Witless (oops, I mean "Cable & Wireless") dried up at the end of 2002, my wife and I decided to relocate from Fairfax, VA and go into business in beautiful Silver City, NM. If you would like to find out about our new business venture, click on our company logo above.

Beating Heart My Heart's in the Right Place...

...and I've got the pictures to prove it. If you are interested in finding about my recent heart attack and what I learned from it, you can read a two-part article I wrote on the subject. It's written using Adobe Acrobat; if you don't have the Adobe Acrobat Reader, you can get it for free by clicking on the link below.

"As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did." - Robert Benchley

PDF File Icon Part 1: Pay Attention-- You're Next!

PDF File Icon Part 2: Fun's Fun, Until Somebody Gets Hurt

Get Adobe Acrobat Reader Get Adobe Acrobat Reader

World Music Do you like World music?

If you love a wide variety of ethnic music from all over the world, you may already be familiar with the Putumayo music label. They have nearly 80 anthology CDs available (and another 21 individual artist CDs) covering a myriad of musical styles, themes, locations and ethnic groups.

If that sounds like something you might enjoy, here is your chance to experience it for yourself free of charge. By clicking on "LISTEN NOW!", a new browser window will open and you'll be able to listen to nearly 18 hours of Putumayo music in a continuous loop. Each of the disks is represented by one to three of my favorite tracks, and new tunes are added each month when new disks are released.

Currently my station has listener(s) tuned into " " performed by from the Putumayo disc entitled " ."

Skull of Terminator in flames Other Web Hot Spots...

Here is a selection of some useful Internet hot spots:

WORLDTIME WORLDTIME Interactive atlas, timezones, public holidays worldwide

UCC Universal Currency Converter®How many forints are there in a kwacha?

IMDB Internet Movie Database Info on any film or actor you can think of

'The Scream' by Edvard Munch Fun Stuff

Useless Pages
The Kevin Bacon Game
Cool Site of the Day
Quotes of the Day
A Brief History of the Internet
404 Page Not Found
The Last Page

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